Apa itu cinta??

Cinta....benda paling common dlm dunia nih..
Tanpa cinta...kite tiada...
Termasok la semua jenis cinta yang wujud dlm diri kita...

Bagi aku cinta tu bermaksud perasaan yang lahir dalam diri kita sendiri...
Perasaan itu menggabung kan semua perasaan lain seperti suka, sedih, kecewa, marah dan lain2..
Cinta ni sangat complicated...
Susah nak gambarkan perasaan cinta dari perkataan...

Cinta hanya boleh dirasai oleh diri kita sendiri....
Dan bukan senang nak rse cinta nih...
Hanya orang yang betol2 terbuka pintu hati dia....
Dapat rasakan betapa hebat nya cinta ni...

Cinta leh menyebabkan kita buat benda gile..
Benda yang kite tak sangka akan kite lakukan...
Especially benda yg tak akan kita lakukan...
Xtau la nak bagi contoh apa...
pikiaq la sendiri kan...

Nak story sikit kt korang even xde org bace sebenarnye...
but i dont mind at all...

kali terakhir aku rase cinta dlm 6 tahun lepas aku rse...
cinta yang aku rsekan ni xlah sempurna macam org lain..
aku bersyukur la dpt rase cinta nih...

cinta ku terhadap seorang insan yang sangat2 baik...
dia syg aku mcm dia syg diri dia sendiri...
dia sgt mempercayai aku seperti mana aku percayai dia..

hubungan kiteorang sgt2 kukuh....
aku sangat2 gmbira dpt jumpe orang mcm dia...
aku rse xde org lain lagi cm dia...

kiteorg sgt bahagia shingga lah waktu kiteorg clash..

bse la...susah nk jumpe org yg betol2 sehidop semati ngan kite...
lagi2 dlm hubungan yng xseberape betol nih..

ngeeehehehehe....

skrg nih..aku hidop keseorangan...
aku masih ade family..ofcos la...
seorg tu mksd nye single..xde couple..

status aku nakal sikit..single but not available..
hehehhee tpi nak wat cane..aku memang cmnih...

setelah sekian lame aku menyingle...xsgke aku terjumpa seorang manusia...

fuh!! terbaik! aku sgt2 syg kt dia padahal baru sekali jumpe kt dia..
aku rse sgt bahagia dgn dia..
happy.....xtau nak explain cmne...

kami bnyk la persamaan...
dan kiteorg mcm contrast antara 1 sama lain...
 :)

tu je la aku nak ckp..

harap2 aku dpt jumpe dia lagi..
utk real date! hehehehe

bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pagi yang sejuk!

Selamat pgi sume....
Hope korang sume sihat2 blake...
Nk ckp 1 benda je....sejuk gile pgi ni,.,

And aku still ngantok...
Padal kete moto dh selambak kuar dri apartment nih..
Aku je dok menangok kt dlm umah..
Hahahaha.....

Bye sume!! Muah(!!!

Lost forever and back till death!

Hello everybody!!!

Sangat2 lama aku xpost kt blog nih....macam gua dh aku tgk blog aku ni...

sungguh antic...lebih dri 1 tahun kot aku tggl kn..hehehehe

kejam kan...bse laaaa...bz sikit...lagipon..

xslalo sgt la bukk blog nih...hehehehe mood pon xslalo ada nak type ape2 kt blog nih...

AND NOW!!!!

bru aku rse cam nk tulis something..mungkin sbb aku dh xde tmpt lain nk luah kan..

mungkin ade tpi orang tu mesti xpaham ape yg aku nak and ape yg aku ckp...

even aku sendiri pon xpaham ape yg aku nak...hurm...

confusing sgt life aku...bukan stakat real life....love life pon confuse...

kali ni...aku nk combine kan video blog aku ke dlm blog ini... :)

so...wait for my next post!! :) bye sume...

Patient

what's going on me right now??
seems like i'm being a crazy person..
i always a crazy person..
never doubt bout it...hahahhaa

it just..i had a feeling to someone..
really wanna be with him..
i wanna make a label between us...
i know label is kind of lame for him..
but i really want it...

maybe i need to cool down after all hell that he have been through...
but..i cant stop thinking bout him..
my heart is always waiting for him...
i really hope that he still remember me all time..
even he was tired busy or what ever things he did...

i know he miss me so much..
just like i miss him...
patient!! patient is all i need for him..
let him be first..
let he decide what he wanna do first...
job family or anything else...
kind of hope that he want me too...hehehehe

thats all!!!
miss u so much!!!

Real Regrown and Restart

Being 21 was so much faster than i though...
never doubt bout time...never getting late bout it...
21...what!!!! its like a crucial time for me to find someone...
to be cuddle...to be hug....
such a wonderful.....hahahaha but like always dear...dream on...

I had think a lot bout my self now days...
i dont think i'm gonna put myself under the curtain anymore..
hiding somewhere...now..
i think i wanna step up for a better reason and life...
i'm gonna do it step by step...

first!! of course i need to be more realistic..i mean in real life..
do i pretend to be somebody else...?? i dont think so..
but maybe some other silly person might think that..
so, its time for me to be real with everybody...
be who i'm suppose to be...
not only by my stupid crazy mouth bitchy word...
but i'm talking bout my self..
my appearance...
i want to clear up some closed minded people out there....
i am AYAI....i'm somebody now..
and they need to know who i am...really am..
by the way..i'm not saying i'm a good person...but u can say that...
not a really bad person...but sometimes bad..heheh

next!! i will be regrown up by myself..
sound ridiculous right?? but who cares...
i'm gonna take my time for myself to make up my mind...
to be who i'm suppose to be..
to be more mature than before..
or to be more crazy than before..
or to be natural in all way...
i dont know yet...hehehhee

and lastly....i need to restart my whole crazy life...
clarifying myself bout what happen now...
specifically bout my previous life..seriously guys..
my late life were really bad and shit....snapped me!!
hahahaha....i'm gonna think bout my future plan...
i mean bout my study..future job...i dont wanna be homeless guy...
or guy that pick up the trash or any kind of freak clown people doing circus...
i want to be an engineer...errrrr...i'll think bout that later...

thats all i need....the three R....Real, Regrown and Restart...
what ever happen before this..
i think i might pass all out..does not need to be remember anymore..
i had waste my 3 precious year...
now i'm gonna be new me...


Yeay!!!! Its me AYAI....new AYAI!! :)

The Truth

In reality, we really does not care bout the truth of our own life...
Even we said we care. but we do not actually...
Matter of fact, knowing the truth is so much pain. and its keep coming even we did not ask it coming.

And now i'm talking bout myself out there...
did i survive? how does my life end up out there..
i really know bout that yet..
but i'm pretty sure its not that good..

just as i thought, my life is pretty messy..
with all kind of love-hate stuff...
its like creeping inside my head and did not want to come out..
its quite terrible for to handle up alone..

kind of hope that somebody would come out and do rescue me from the hill of dark..
that keep playing around in my head...
btw its pretty awesome to have somebody to love and be loved..
not that awesome to does not have either one..

but i'm sure everyone have somebody that he/she might love..except the family..
like myself..
i do have someone that i really do care..
unfortunately..the hole getting bigger and my love life getting deeper..
its turned me down...what can i get??
hurm....perfectly nothing..eventually maybe..

i know that he might miss me but not sure he was going to love just like i love him..
i might be blind by my pretty-love thingy....i cant see that love from him..
or i just hoping to much from him..
nowdays, he kind of getting rid of me..
or maybe i was over reacting bout this..

for sure i know he was and in kine of busy with all work and junk that he need to do for his future..
everyone busy in their own kind of way...i'm pretty sure that they still have time for little talk bout little2 something right?
why dont he have it for me? at least for 30 minute..or 10 minute or 5 second to say i love you...
does it hard to say that word?? or he afraid of saying at only mouth but does not care what does it mean..

thats all
bye!!

Day three: ten things you hate

quite a long time x update blog kan...
sorry la..kind of busy lately..
layan kerenah orang and holiday...
btw sekarang ni kan cuti sem..haruslah bergumbira...


bout this post lak....
agak lame aku membiar kan 10 days ni kan....
now continue with day 3....

10 THINGS I HATE

1. Liars

i hate when people lie to my face coz i know what it feels like when people know if we lie.

2. Coward

I do hate coward!! really hate...what coward do??? nothing..the pretending to be some other person that they might think cover their truth......totally coward!!! For me, if u wanna show up yourself...then u need strength and will...u can't keep hiding under the hood.....being yourself is always good and better than being a coward!!!

3. Dependent.

Aku paling xsuke bile orang selalu bergantung kat orang lain....for example a friend...we know that a friend will help a friend in need...but if a friend keep depending on us wherever he/she wanna do...its crap and too much!! u need to know that everyone has their own limit in this kind of situation...

4. Ghost

Sape kat sini suke hantu?? cer citer sikit!! hahahah of cos semua takot hantu kan... :) hehehehe

5. Abandoned

Tak suke jadi org yang di tinggalkan...sedih sangat...

rasa diri ni sangat terok and loserrrr....

hurm....klo benda ni berlaku kt aku..

memang down la aku...lebih baik mati jer...

6. Poor

Aku benci bile aku miskin...x suke!!!!!

xde duit nak beli ape2...

nak makan pon susah..

nnti kene harap kt orang lain lak..

:(

7. Lipas

Xsuke la lipas....dia kecik and bersayap....

and geli!!! hahahahah

8. Kotor

Xsuke klo orang wat kotor kat tempat aku or so what ever...

benci2...heheheheheheh :)

9. Selfish

Ni yang agak aku xsuke...selfish!!!!

aku gerenti semua orang x suke selfish....

sangat mementingkan diri sendiri....

argh!!! no komen...

10. Myself

Aku xtau lar kenapa..bukan nak menghina ciptaan Ilahi..

aku ni macam dilahirkan serba kekurangan....

till now aku xjumpe mane2 kelebihan aku...

pelik lar...kekadang aku frust ngan diri aku sendiri....

xtau nk luah kan kat siapa..

terpaksa la luahkan kat sini kan!!! :)

I Miss Him....

This song is just for you!!!!

"Bound To You"

Sweet love, sweet love
Trapped in your love
I’ve opened up, unsure I can trust
My heart and I were buried in dust
Free me, free us
You’re all I need when I’m holding you tight
If you walk away I will suffer tonight

I found a man I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can you see that I’m bound in chains?
I’ve finally found my way

I am bound to you
I am bound to you

So much, so young, I’ve faced on my own
Walls I built up became my home
I’m strong and I’m sure there’s a fire in us
Sweet love, so pure
I catch my breath with just one beating heart
And I embrace myself, please don’t tear this apart

I found a man I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains?
I’ve finally found my way

I am bound to you
I am bound to

Suddenly the moment’s here
I embrace my fears
All that I have been carrying all these years
Do I risk it all? Come this far just to fall?
Fall

I can trust and boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can you see that I’m bound in chains?
And finally found my way

I am bound to you
I am, ooh I am
I’m bound to you

This is HIM....

*sorry masok kan pic wan dlm blog...

Thrown out person

Hi semua....
Seriously i'm kind of miss to post dalam blog aku yang dah berabuk nih...
Even though aku tau orang xkan nak bace blog aku ni...
Xkesah la kan...
This is what blog are meant bout....


thrown out......
kind of misery....
terpikir2 gak aku kenapa aku selalu jadi orang terbuang...
xkesah lar mane....
dalam study or ape2 kes pon...


nak kate aku ni banyak wat salah..
maybe...but xkan tu reason dia...
aku yakin aku ade wat salah sampai xde orang leh accept aku..
ntah la...
actually aku x kesah..
tpi biler dah dibuang banyak kali...
baru aku sedar...


i'm still an outsider even dah kenal lame...
aku x harap ape2 pon..
it just honesty....
aku nak tau kebenaran jer...


kalau aku ade wat salah.....
tell me...and i'll try to fix it..
even thought u guys might no i cant do that...
but at less let me try something...


season by season...aku rase cam aku makin jauh..
not to my family but my friend..
aku xtau lar nape...
once aku pergi kat one side nih....the other side mcm kutuk2 belakang..
aku xtau lar naper....
maybe kisah lampau aku kot...


come on lar..benda dah lame kot...
xperlu la nak ungkit....
lately i figured out how to fix myself and everything...
i need my friend to help me out..
but u never listen to me....
all u seeing is a jerk who are lazy high up to the hell hill....


but u know what....
people change.....even though u guys might thought that 'change' never can happen..
mase awal2 aku pelik lar...
tau2 dah de group...
aku cam jadi org gile xtau nk masok mane..
actually bukan nak masok mane sbb group dah penoh...
everything change like hell...


aku xleh nak kate ape2 coz tu sume hak masing2...
aku just nak tau what is my problem..
and somehow...
orang yang x slalo ngan aku lak lebih kenal aku dri org yg slalo ngn aku...
aq pon cam pelik..
but thank God la ade this bunch of people yang sanggop amik aku...
bersyukur sgt.....
and dyowg pon sgt paham....


aku x kesah nak dicampak keluar or di buang...
aku x desperate langsung!!!
aku leh bwk idop aku sendiri..
i really dont mind to eat alone..
to do anything alone as long as i'm happy....
unfortunately y special friend never believe bout being alone is something happy...
but i did... :)


so...as a conclusion...
hahahhaahahahahhahahahahahahha
i can do everything on my own!!!!!


thanks guys for reading this!!! :)

Kecoh kan bila nak raye....

Of cos what the hell biler dapat tau anak buah kene demam campak..

kesian kat dia....dah la dia rindu kt aq *mati statement* .....

pastu bile dah kene demam campak...xde orang nak kawan ngan dia..

acik nangis je 24 jam.....merajok lar....

kesian aq tengok ko!!!!

sebelum aq tinggalkn ko kt umah....rupe ko sikit punye lawa..

sekarang....tengok tar..tar pon lagi lawa!! *ayyooo matik statement aq*

mau aq kene kejar ngan parang cakap camnih...

hahahhaa..mahu x mahu....raye kali ni kureng lar...

kalau ayu *anak buah aq yg dh x lawa* ni elok cepat...

insyaAllah dapat ler jenjalan....

mak dia punye lar wat plan malam raye nk gi karok 1 family...

*x termasok anak dan laki dia.....hahahhaha*

ofcos dengan adik beradik jer...hehhehee Madam dok umah je lar..

ye lar..nak gi malam kan...hehehe :)

xtau la jadi ke x plan nih!! ejejeje

kalao jadi..x sabar nak tengok aq beraksi...macam nih!!

|

|

|

|

V

kelas aq kan???? hahahhaaha

kalao akak aq...haish!! x leh cite....ko tgk je lar pic kt bawah nih!!

|

|

|

V

*mati lar...rupe akk aq jadik cam rosmah nih!!*

kelas tol akak aq!! mengalahkan DATIN kekelasan dia...

hehehehehe :) tu pon kalao jadi...

hehehehe kalao jadik memang nak karok puas2....

nk tunjuk kan aq nih sgt berbakat... *over ker?? x kan..*

no one can challenge me ocay!!! :)

kay lar...nak kemas rumah......

rumah dah berabuk....dah mcm rumah antoo..

x larat nak duduk!!! hehehehehe

terbogel rumah aq dari malam ke pagi sbb pangsir sume dh basuh...

tahun ni recycle sajok langsir2 lama!! :)

k lar..bye sumer!! :)

Raye Raye Raye....

Hye sumer...aq pon xtau nak cakap camne!!!

hehehehe :)

best ke x ea raye nih???

hehehehehe bagi aq...best lar kot!!

mungkin lar....best biler adik beradik sumer ade!!!

kuih raye siap.....

makanan2 sumer siap!!! :)

heheheheh layan sajok!!! :)

Preparation untuk Rayer!!! :)

1. Bebaju raye.. 

kali ni banyak kot...actually x banyak sangat!! :)

ade lar 3 helai jer!!! :)

2. Kemas umah..

xde gambau pon....bahaye!! umah x lawa cam si Faiz...

hehehe..bse sajok!!! langsir dah cabut.....

hehehe :)

3. Kuih Ghayer....

dalam proses nak wat kuih raye!!!!

setakat ni biskut arab and biskut samprit...

biskut arab dah siap!!! :) heheheh

yang ni plak Madam Besar tengah wat kuih samprit!! :)

4. Duit ghayer...

duit ghaye sentiasa kene sedia kan...

tapi malang nyer bukan lar aq!! hahahaha

yang penting duit ghayer x yah nak over cam pict bawah nih!!!

Madam Besar suke over2...

sampai depan komputer pon nak susun!!!

fening paler weyh~~~ hehehehe

5. Diri sendiri..

ofcos lar...nak mintak maaf ngan semua orang!!

hehehe.....dah banyak aq wat salah ngan orang!!

nak x nak..kene lar maaf kan dan mintak maaf!!!

hehehe :)

ok bye!!!

3 days at Shah Alam 2....

This is embarrassing...i'm such an idiot...based on the previous post..i should be at Melaka right now...unfortunately...after posting that post..i had taken a nap..i should be about 1 - 2 hours nap...suddenly my plan changed..i woke at 6 pm..that's mean that i cant go back to Melaka riding a skuter by night...such a terrible feeling bout that....and now the new title is just covered....

4 Days At Shah Alam....

Day 3 :

Continue with the previous...woke up at 6 pm...too late for going back to Melaka...decided to went home by tomorrow(today) morning..open fasting with a cup of water and became lazy to have real open fasting...got a message from friend to have a dinner with...after dinner...go karaoke with my love until 3 am...continue with next day...

Day 4 :

After karaoke and dating with my love..back home and go out for sahur with housemate(SUKUR) at Nasi Lemak CInta Sayang...had a cup of tea...then back home to clean up the room and prepare thing to bring back to Melaka...cant sleep until the moment i write this post!!! waiting for suitable time to go back home safely...see u guys at Melaka!! :)

Conclusion :

Dont make silly mistake like me...hehehe :) for guys that going back to kampong..drive carefully...remember our loved one!! :) hehehe selamat berhari raya!! :) bye~~

3 days at Shah Alam....

Day 1 :

A long journey from melaka...arrive at Shah Alam in about 5.30 pm...its tiring but i need to keep on my journey. Arrive at empty home...hurm..too silent!!! like all people are dead..hehehe :) get ready for berbuka...outed to bazar and bought some food and drinks....

After open fasting(betol ker??), having fun with my ****r*e** at Bintang karaoke. such a beautiful voice of that person...hehehe...n then sleep at home as usual..... waiting for the next day...

Day 2 :

Such a hard day...all shit coming through like a heavy rain with storm...dealing with people that we dont like such a pain...keep giving me a hard time...my problem should be done by now but it was delayed to the next day...fucking bitch!! 

To release all the pain, i went to my sister house to have a dinner (berbuka)...such a long journey with crazy cars and crazy drivers...thank god...with aid of an Ambulance...my way became easy to reach my sister's house! Amin... :) Berbuka with Nasi Ayam (home made) and Laichi Sejuk..hehehe :) absolutely delicious..marvelous! :)


After that, accompany her had her futsal's training at felda...at there, i played Uno with friends of her and Mel (a cute proud she-cat)...such a wonderful night..after training, having a sahur at Steven...we ate Chicken Chop and Cheese Naan...damn delicious!! had a talk at almost 3 hours....back home and sleep :)

Day 3 :

Lovely day...went back to place that i missed so much...settled all problem and then back to rent house...clean up the messed thing and waiting for time to move back home!! :) can wait to be at Melaka!! :)

Conclusion :

Such a bored tiring and happening day at Shah Alam even in doesnt sounded fun...hehe might be...but for me..it is wonderful! :) to all my fren...last note for u guys...

Selamat berpuasa (not late yet) and Selamat Hari Raye (too early) hehehe :)

Day two: ten things you love

The mission is still continue~~ :) 2nd day!! :) lets have la look guys!! :) hehehe jgn rase annoying sudah kan... :)

1. LOVE MYSELF

2. LOVE MY FAMILY

Ni picture time rayer tahun lepas kot..hehe :) all blues~~~

3. LOVE MY LIFE

As a student now...its getting tough but i need to keep move on!! :) hehehe

4. LOVE MY ***F**E**

Yang ni x leh nak tulis lar kan... censored!! hehehe hanya orang tertentu jer leh!! :)

5. LOVE MUSIC

6. LOVE SAXOPHONE

 

so much fun with my saxophone!! :)

7. LOVE BEING ALONE

bile kite kesorangan....mudah untuk kite menenangkan fikiran..xde lar kusut!! :)

8. LOVE FOOD

food can trigger my temptation..its feel deep inside my heart and my STOMACH..

9. LOVE ART :)

10. LOVE BEING LOVED :p

Best sangat2 biler kite ni di sayang orang len...di cinta....di rindu...rasa diri ni dihargai seadanya..x kira buruk baik kita..yang penting ikhlas dalam perhubungan.....cinta bukan benda senang untuk kita hadapi...sekali kita bukak pintu hati untuk bercinta...susah untuk kita tutup semula.....sesungguhnya cinta ini juga buat kita terseksa.....bahagia.....marah....suka....menangis....gembira....sakit....pedih.....tapi....kita tetap ingin bercinta!! :)

thats al for 2nd day journey of LOVE... see u next time! :)

Day One : Ten Things Bout You

1. Cam biasa...nama aq Azrai Zaiha Bin Mad Zin. And people call me Ayai :) hehehe banyak lagi nickname..but officially nickname ni la...

2. Aq baru berumur 20 tahun...tua ker?? sesuai x ngan muke aq??

3. Aq ni pelajar UiTM Shah Alam.... :) amik Degree....hehehe :)

 

4. Nama madam besar rumah Halimah Bintit Hassan..dia la orang paling aq sayang dlm dunia...luv u mom!!

5. Aq ade ramai kawan2.....especially dak2 UiTM~~ :)

my classmate :)

 my banders!!

 my bestfren niena~~ :)

6. Aq dok melaka...bandar bersejarah!!! katanye~~btw aq xtau sgt jalan melaka!! *harap je orang melaka tapi x tau jalan...hahaha

aq pon xtau benda ni kat mane...

7. Semperna no 7..aq nak gitau yang aq ade 7 orang adik-beradik~~ :) ramai x?? hehehe have a look of them...

8. Aq seorang yang pendiam..yeker?? tapi bile dah kenal tu..aq automatic jadi super peramah and pelawak gak..hehehe sikit2 lar kot~~ :)

9. Aq bukan lar budak yang sangat pandai but...aq jadi hope mak aq!!  risau nyer.. :(

10. i'm Taurus!!! hehehe bangge tol lahir bulan APRIL~~ :)

hehehehe :) thats all~~ :) continue nanti eak!! :)